5 Recent Life Achievements

I write this entry purely as documentation. Not out of arrogance or to belittle anyone else’s accomplishments. Now disclaimer aside, let’s dive into how amazing I am.

1. I tried Thirst Quencher Gum. Yes, I did indeed try this “miracle” product. You no longer have to wonder every time you frequent a sporting goods store if this gum does indeed do as claimed. Well the answer is, yes it quenches. But only if you would rather grab a glass full of your own saliva than a bottle of water or Gatorade. I drooled so hard I couldn’t form sentences. I felt like I had been hit in the mouth with a blow dart dipped in nerve toxin. I lost all muscle control, and not in a fun way. Here I was, a 29 year old man, trying to drive while my face continued to leak like a canteen hit with buckshot. I needed a mouth diaper. Drenching the entire top of my shirt, like a toddler on his bib. So yes, this gum is effective. But not in a way I would call beneficial. Either way, achievement accomplished.

2. I drank an entire bottle of port and didn’t throw up. Port if you’re unfamiliar, is Portuguese for “NyQuil”. It’s like drinking maple syrup, except with a nice 20% alcohol bump. It burns your lungs when you try to breathe it in. That’s how you know it’s good. I drank this recent bottle on accident because I thought it was regular wine. Which at first, I thought had gone bad. But then I actually read the label, and the proof. So rather than stop or throw it out. I just decided to treat myself. Who knew not reading would be so rewarding. Thanks port.

3. I got a new phone. Now I can actually use the GPS without my phone freezing, and tweet about every time I have wet socks. Finally I can stop holding back and really seize the day! Here I come world.

4. I stopped night binging so my girlfriend didn’t see. I think relationships should be built on trust. And since we recently got engaged, I figured I owed it to her to be honest. Plus if we ever have kids down the line, it’s probably better I stop now. No child should ever wake up to see their father eating a whole bag of recently microwaved jalepeno poppers at 3am. Ever.

5. I started a journal. So far it only has two entries. The first was only one sentence. It read – “Got diarrhea. Not fun.” I’m glad at almost 30, I’ve decided to record life’s important moments. As an older, wiser man, I’m sure I’ll appreciate little personal jewels like that. You guys should all do one. I’ve learned a lot about myself.

Oh and this last piece isn’t an accomplishment. It’s just a cool picture I saw on the wall of a bathroom while I was peeing a few days ago. I think eye patches are cool.

eyepatch

P.S. – Rum Row and the Kickstarter are coming! It did not get posted on 8/18 due to some set backs. So going to post the date when it is 100% locked in. Updates soon. Meanwhile, check out some awesome art by Michele Bandini and colors by Derek Dow.

Rum Row T-colored

Rum Row Cover!

RR_Cover

Here it is! The comic I’ve been working on with artist Michele Bandini, is just about wrapped up. I’ve been a little off the grid lately on the blogging front, and this is partly responsible. But I’m trying to get back in the swing again. You may recall me talking about this in an earlier post, and this proof that we’re progressing. Slowly I’ll admit. The Kickstarter to fund the printing cost is going up Monday 8/18 of this month. If you’re interested in getting the book, digital or in print, this will be a great way to get it. Plus there will be a whole bunch of cool bonus stuff. I will keep you posted as we get closer to the date! Let me give you a little info on what it’s about –

The story is set in the 1920’s, during Prohibition. Sort of Jules Verne meets The Untouchables. A whole drunken city floats above New York, as the police try to contain and control these dirigible speakeasies. We’ll watch it all unfold through our main character Jack, as he takes passage this New Year’s on the most famous dirigible – The Duchess.

That’s it for now! Thanks for checking this out, and I’ll be posting more about this and probably more weird drawings from my brain soon. Have a good Wednesday!

Get Me The Doc

It’s time for another comic book progress report. I had done a small post a week or so ago about my next pitch titled “Doc”. An action comedy milkshake of Grey’s Anatomy meets Die Hard. We explore why a top notch surgeon would quit her job to help out a bunch of murdering psychopaths. Well I have more awesome art from Jerry Gaylord, that I would love to show off.

Our story follows Sara, the reluctant doctor for super villians.

Oh and to add to Sara’s problems, her twin brother is a police detective investigating the rise of super villains in the city.

Here are a few of the super villain concepts that will be appearing in our cast of characters.

And with a mustache to make even Tom Selleck jealous…

Let’s not forget weretigers like guns too.

In addition to the character concepts, we have a couple of fully colored pages. What? No explosions? I’m going home! Relax, we have to save something to show off for the finished pitch.

I hope you guys liked the new updates for Doc, and I’ll be posting more as we move along.

Con Men Are Dreamy

This is my latest project with artist Kewber Baal of Jennifer Blood, and I think he really killed it. It’s been completely finished for about a month now, and getting ready to pitch it around in March. Being a con men/con dragon tale (or would that be drag-con? I know hilarious), I figured we had to pay tribute to Paper Moon right?

To me it’s hard to beat a good con movie (yes that Caan too, Rollerball was awesome). Paper Moon, The Sting, and Nine Queens are probably my favorites. Tyrion of the lesser known George R.R. Martin series is somewhat of a schemer, but overall I thought the medieval fantasy world lacked con men/grifter stories. So with my new and totally fresh idea, I think I’m basically going to take the entire (comic) world by storm. Just crush it bra, you feel me? And let’s face it, if you want to make the big bucks, you get into independent comics.

Sorry, I know you skipped this rant to look at the pictures anyway. So just good ahead and look you pervert!

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