In my constant quest of self improvement, I carry around a small notebook to write notes to myself. That way whenever I come across an important bit of wisdom, I can record it. So instead of being selfish, I thought I’d share what I’ve written down in the last week…
1. Stop bragging to people about being good at laser tag.
2. Next time you go to a social gathering, make sure to clarify that you are a good “wrapper”. Not a good “rapper”.
3. Jellyfish do not like surfers either.
4. When my girlfriend tells me to take out the trash, she is referring to actual garbage, and not bazooka-ing bad guys.
5. Dog bites hurt way more than dog barks. That saying was a lie.
6. Hot moms do not like the term “hot moms”.
7. Axe Body Spray has come out with a scent called “Anarchy”. Finally a hygiene product to match my political views.
8. Girlfriend’s birthday is the same day as Pearl Harbor day. Never forget.
9. I’ve always wondered what eating hot lava would feel like. After eating boiling hot refried beans, I no longer need to wonder.
10. Crocheting looks interesting. But until I can make body armor out of yarn, I will have to put this on hold.
11. There are two types of people in this world – Billy Joel fans. And not Billy Joel fans.
12. Not all spiders are mean. Stop being racist.
13. Hang glider has a tear. Make sure to repair by Friday.
14. Jenga is the only construction work you can legally do drunk.
15. Can dragons eat ice cream? Research futher.