Notes To Self

In my constant quest of self improvement, I carry around a small notebook to write notes to myself.  That way whenever I come across an important bit of wisdom, I can record it.  So instead of being selfish, I thought I’d share what I’ve written down in the last week…

1. Stop bragging to people about being good at laser tag.

2. Next time you go to a social gathering, make sure to clarify that you are a good “wrapper”. Not a good “rapper”.

3. Jellyfish do not like surfers either.

4. When my girlfriend tells me to take out the trash, she is referring to actual garbage, and not bazooka-ing bad guys.

5. Dog bites hurt way more than dog barks. That saying was a lie.

6. Hot moms do not like the term “hot moms”.

7. Axe Body Spray has come out with a scent called “Anarchy”. Finally a hygiene product to match my political views.

8. Girlfriend’s birthday is the same day as Pearl Harbor day. Never forget.

9. I’ve always wondered what eating hot lava would feel like. After eating boiling hot refried beans, I no longer need to wonder.

10. Crocheting looks interesting. But until I can make body armor out of yarn, I will have to put this on hold. 

11. There are two types of people in this world – Billy Joel fans. And not Billy Joel fans.

12. Not all spiders are mean. Stop being racist.

13. Hang glider has a tear. Make sure to repair by Friday.

14. Jenga is the only construction work you can legally do drunk.

15. Can dragons eat ice cream? Research futher.

qti8

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38 thoughts on “Notes To Self

  1. You could just ignore the hang glder tear and try somethng new..lol
    and yeah, Billy who?
    hilarious

    • Yeah you’re probably right. I just think I’m going through a “hang glider phase” at the moment. And whoa on the Billy comments. Let’s not forget he made “Piano Man”.

  2. If more girlfriends wanted us to deal with bad guys rather than “take out the trash” this world would be a safer, albeit smellier place. I guess you can’t have it all.

  3. Billy Joel! How do you spell the sound of a cat coughing up a rancid hariball? That’s my Billy Joel commentary.

    I’m not overly curious about your carrying a little notebook around, but I’m assuming you have some sort of holster/inkwell for that nasty looking quill.

  4. I heard Billy on the radio this morning on the way into work which reminded me of seeing him in concert and I don’t know if I have seen him twice on his own (definitely saw the Nylon Curtain tour) and I saw him with Elton John. Do you remember?

    • I don’t think you understand how jealous I am of you right now. I’ve still never seen him! I saw Elton John solo, which was fantastic. But when they came around together, I could only afford nosebleeds. I didn’t feel that was appropriate.

  5. Sadly, I saw nothing in your thoughts on the Ministry of Silly Walks. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of developing a good Silly Walk and then applying for a grant for said Silly Walk to the Ministry. For shame.

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