5 Poisons That Are Healthy

Generally poisons are thought of as well, poisonous. Poisons come in many varities and forms- alcohol poisoning, toxic fumes, and of course the classic assassin poison dart. Yes, all of those are harmful. But let’s not forget that poisons can actually be healthy for you too! Here let me give you some examples –

1.  Exercise – Symptoms : Sore muscles, increased heart rate, loss of breath, and severe sweating. Hmm… Sounds like poison to me. Yet exercise is actually good for you. It is so powerful, it can actually shrink your body size! You can lose 20, to 50, to even 100 pounds! That is definitely some amazing poison.

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2.  Sleep – Symptoms : Dreamlike hallucinations, slowed breathing and heart rate, and can even cause unintelligible talking. If we don’t sleep, our bodies will physically shut down. Yet when we do it, we actually go into a self – induced coma. Then when you finally wake up, there’s a 5-10 minute hangover-like feeling as you regain your faculties. I can understand why insomnia is so popular.

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3.  Food – Symptoms : Once ingested can cause sleepiness, sluggishness, and an overall uncomfortable sensation around the abdomen. Every time you eat, you are putting foreign substances into your body! But if you don’t do this, your body won’t get the nutrients it needs to survive. Then you will die. If that isn’t strange enough, you must eat at least 3 times a day! Insanity I tell you.

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4. Water – Symptoms : While consuming, causes pause in breathing, and excessive urination. To further illustrate the dangers of water, a large amount of it can actually cause death by drowning! Even more ironic, our bodies are made up of 70% water. That is simply asinine. But if you don’t drink water, you will die of dehydration. This is one of the most important necessary poisons of all.

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5. Math – Symptoms : Headaches, frustration, and anger. We use it everyday, but it is the leading cause of brain explosions. To prevent this, calculators were invented. Despite its many dangers, it is essential in our day to day life. It helps you pay for groceries,  utilities, and other bills. So make sure to think of this list before you call poison control.

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