Rattlesnake Problem


Ha! Is this some kind of sick joke?  I’ll start showing rattlesnakes respect when they start earning it. Everyone knows rattlesnakes come from a long line of thieves and liars. Not to mention they’re a bunch of hole living pagans.

When I was in the sixth grade, I let a rattlesnake borrow my Best of Hall & Oates CD. Guess what?  He still has it.  I should’ve known something was up, when he said his favorite song was “Private Eyes”.  Snakes can’t even see color!  He was mocking me to my face, and robbing me blind. But that’s a rattlesnake for you.

So when you see these signs ignore them. Don’t fall for this rattlesnake propaganda. These creatures act like animals, and should be treated as such. Only a heathen would bite someone, over sitting down and having an adult conversation. Hopefully someday, we can live in a world without snakes. But until that day, feel free to stomp and make loud noises as you please. Thank you, and good day.


38 thoughts on “Rattlesnake Problem

    • I blame my grandpa. He’s been pushing his speciest ways on me since I was a kid. He always used to say, “I’m not paying for no snake social security! They’re nothing but reptile scum!” Or that was close to what he said.

  1. Dunno about you, but I’ve learned loads from snakes. Why just the other day someone was encroaching on my personal space so I bit him.

    Ok I lack the requisite concentration of enzymes and toxins to cause him any serious problems, but he was certainly surprised, even a little offended.

  2. I seriously dislike rattle snakes. My 8th grade boyfriend (an original Metallica member – that should tell you something…) gave me the rattle from a snake he skinned for my 14th birthday. I gave it right back!

  3. Given the lack of fingers that snakes possess, I think they must have an alliance with someone to make those signs. It could be part of a seedy underbelly of snake-human conspiracies. I wish you the best is spreading in your message, I just hope it doesn’t end you up on the lam.

    • More importantly, remember to spread the message about these fiends. The world needs to know. Even places that don’t have snakes, because those will be our safe havens when the snakes takeover.

      • Done and Done. Shared it. I may not have that many friends, but the ones that I do have will know that Rattlesnakes are bastards and aren’t to be trusted.

      • Done and Done. Shared it. I may not have that many friends, but the ones that I do have are now fully aware that Rattlers are bastards and cannot be trusted.

  4. I respect many things.. but the car skids to a halt (ripping out the muffler, yes, that hard) at SNAKES!!
    you crack me up 🙂

  5. I used have a ball python and she was a jerk. She tried to eat my hand. So I put her in the paper shredder. (no, I actually gave her an animal rescue), but I wanted to.

    Funny post:)

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