There’s nothing better than finishing the weekend with good food and friends (the two f’s). I love the fun and ambiance of brunch. It’s just so care free. But before I go, I always run through my checklist to make sure I’m ready to go.
1. Remember my flask– It’s the only day of the week that morning drinking is acceptable. For once I can tell people- “Oh I never do this, but I guess since it’s brunch I’ll have a little…” And honestly I always find the whole champagne and orange juice thing a little weak. So I always bring a little Jack Daniels to kick it up a notch.
2. Bring a mini boombox– I don’t care how “fancy” a place is. If they don’t understand that eggs benedict goes better with Montell Jordan, then they’re not getting my business.
3. Chipotle Tabasco hot sauce– Don’t give me that regular Tabasco filth. I have standards. I make sure my girlfriend always carries a spare chipotle bottle in her purse at all times. It can make any awful dish delicious in seconds. Oh and don’t bother buying one. Just go to your nearest Chipotle burrito food chain, and steal one like the rest of us. They’re just sitting out on the tables! It’s like they want you to steal them.
4. Cuttoff shorts– I love eating outside, unless it’s raining (then why aren’t you drinking at home silly?). There’s no better way to enjoy beautiful weather then being able to feel every single breeze on your nether region.
5. A good attitude– Nothing ruins my appetite like negativity. Brunch is not the time to talk about your job, your life goals, or how proud you are of what your child did. I don’t care. I’m here to party.