10 Reasons Why I Like Being A Grown Up

Being a grown up can be full of bills, and horrible jobs.  But let’s stop and think about all the positives.  If you’re having trouble thinking of any, don’t worry.  I made a list below.  And sorry ahead of time, but drinking won’t be on here.  I started that habit as a child, so we won’t be counting that.

1.  I can go to the bathroom without permission.

2.  I can learn to fly a jet. (I won’t. But I like having the option).

3.  I can have a Komodo dragon for a pet. (Or a wolf).

4.  I can grow a mustache.

5.  I can see R-rated movies.  Even the kind with boobs.

6.  I can own a broadsword. Legally.

7.  I can eat bacon for everything.

8.  I don’t have to go to church.

9.  I can say, “Sorry, I’ve just grown out of that…” to things I don’t like.

10.  I don’t have to cuss in secret.  (Except at work).

It only took 3 months.


Drunk Writing… Is it possible?

I strive on being productive, and multi-tasking (not really at all).  So I thought it be would important to save time and get drunk while I made dinner.  And I learned a few things. 1) It’s a Wednesday, so I’m over achieving. 2) My cooking doesn’t taste so bad now. And 3) After dinner writing is impossible.

How did/do so many amazing writers do this? Charles Bukowski, Jack London, Dorothy Parker, and a million other authors since the dawn of time have.  In the first ten minutes of sitting down at my laptop under the influence, I have accomplished these things: eaten frozen whip cream, watched the Queen “I Want to Break Free” video, and more importantly, found old Gatorade to mix with my left over vodka.

Now I’m not even on the same playing field of those guys/gals obviously.  I write about brunch and hating horses.  But just the fact that they could put sentences together let alone create amazing novels, breaks my brain.  Now, enough playing around.  I’m going to try and write comic books about dinosaurs with mustaches.  But congrats to the successful drunk authors out there and good night (or morning).

P.S.- WordPress recommended “writers resources” as one of the tags.  That is definitely a lie.  But I’m keeping it regardless.

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