Thanks for making the Fourth of July on a Wednesday this year. Being omniscient, you can probably tell that I’m being sarcastic. I just thought you had an understanding with us Americans. We included you in our patriotic songs, mentioned you on our currency, and even let you have a say in our politics. But apparently that wasn’t enough. Now I have to get hammered on a weekday, and go to work hungover on Thursday. Don’t worry though, I love sitting in a cubicle sweating booze and typing up Excel spreadsheets. It’s so fun for me. Next year, could you make Christmas on a Tuesday?
One of your creations,