The world is a chaotic mess. All too often we choose war, instead of peace. I myself spent most of my youth in knife fights and shoot outs. Despite it being for honor, and the greater good. I learned that not fighting, can be just as effective. I look at life differently now, and pick my battles accordingly. All too often, I see people wasting their time and energy on wars they cannot win. We could take that same energy and put it to more important causes- like making the world a better place. So to help with this matter, I have put together a list of things to avoid fighting.
1. Obesity– You can’t fight obesity. My brother is really fat. I punch him all the time. He’s still fat. You can’t punch the fat out of people, despite what the First lady says. Sorry Mrs. Obama. You are wrong.
2. Animal Extinction– Yes they stink. That’s because they’re animals. Give them a break. They live, eat, and sleep outside. Giving it a fancy name, isn’t going to change their situation.
3. Volcanic Eruptions– Lava is the only thing that managed to kill the dinosaurs and terminators. Yeah maybe it destroys civilizations (but let’s face it, Pompeii was full of godless sinners and they deserved it). It also makes islands, which are great for vacations. I’ll take Caribbean vacations over terminator riding raptors any day.
4. Blindness– Think of all the magicians you’ve seen in your lifetime. How many times a day, do you wish you could erase those experiences from your brain? Well if you didn’t have eyes, you never would have seen that fat pony tailed guy show you a card trick. That means no Criss Angel (yes he spells his name that way), no David Blaine (satanic), and no David Copperfield (but he does have good hair though). Plus you get to wear sunglasses all the time.
5. This Feeling– That’s right. I’m referring to the REO Speedwagon song. If you’ve been fighting liking this song for your entire life, you’re part of the problem. Let go of the hate, and let in that smooth rock. Feel it taking over. Suddenly, your soul doesn’t feel quite so dark does it?