Happy Father’s Day Darth Vader

With Father’ Day coming up, I thought it would be important to honor someone that tends to get a bad wrap.  No, not Genghis Khan.  I’m talking about Darth Vader.  Yes he was a Dark Sith Lord, a murderer, and an overall destroyer of planets.  But what about his good qualities?  I mean Luke loved him right?  Why can’t we?  I’ll do my best to elaborate on his positive qualities.

1. He believed in exercise– Most dads play catch with their kids.  Boring.  How about lightsaber fights?  Now that burns calories (and flesh).  The fact that he cared enough to spend his free time “sparring” with Luke, just shows how dedicated he was.  Do you know how hard it is to run an Empire, and choke your crew members?  Hard.  What a selfless father.  It’s like he had a plan or something…

2. He taught the importance of appreciation–  As I think all of us can agree, having two hands has made us spoiled.  Darth Vader knew that.  Luke was being an asshole, and needed to be taken down a peg or two.  Losing his hand was the cure.  Having one hand made him appreciate what was important.  Life is about learning lessons, and what better way to learn them then from your father.  They’re older and wiser than us.  And in Vader’s case, half robot.  Which I’m not exactly sure what that adds, but it’s probably something deep and important.

3. He knew studying was key– I mean I understand you’re sort of born with it.  But the force doesn’t teach itself. It definitely takes practice. How many kids flipped off diving boards and fell into Sarlacc pits before someone had to set up some rules? Kids need to be taught to concentrate, do their force exercises, and have some goals. Whether it’s taking over the galaxy or protecting it. They need to learn that nothing comes easy. Luke knew if he was ever going to face his father again, he would have to train. Hard work is essential.

4. He cared about who his kids hung out with– Vader never wanted his children to hang out with the wrong crowd. That’s why he had Han Solo frozen in carbonite. Han was a dirty smuggler with a smart mouth.  Can you imagine him coming over for Thanksgiving? He’d probably bring Chewbacca.  And call me crazy, but I don’t like Wookie hair in my mash potatoes.

5. He believed in setting goals– As a child, he got an adult princess to fall in love with him.  He was an amazing pilot. He also wiped out the Jedi, and built a Death Star. The list could go on forever…  Do you think a lazy person accomplishes all that? No. It takes a very dedicated man, full of hate to do that. Luke and Leia would probably still be twiddling their thumbs somewhere, instead of leading the rebellion if not for this man/robot. So before you go around judging him for being a “bad dad”, try to remember all the good things that he did. Happy Father’s Day Darth Vader.

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29 thoughts on “Happy Father’s Day Darth Vader

  1. As you know, I’m not qualified to make Star Wars related comments. I have a teen aged nephew who would be glad to step in and give you his regarded opinion on your opus, but I’ve learned that there are a few topics which are best left alone when it comes to dealing with that kid, Star Wars movies and Uncle Dave’s not having seen them being pretty high on the list.

    I too considered writing my Father’s day post on a fictional father, but haven’t been able to figure out how to do so without offending my non-fictional father, who has been known to read my blog.

    I’ll step aside and let the Star Wars savvy step up and have their comments now.

    Nice post (I think…)

  2. …and here I was feeling like a pariah for never having seen SW! Looks like I’m not totally alone….maybe Carly and I can get together and talk about other stuff, like hair care or something…

    • Oh no, you’re still most definitely a pariah. Like a leper in a nudist colony. I didn’t forget our previous Star Wars talk. Stop lying to yourself and watch them already. I mean c’mon! He’s a robotic samurai skeleton with a laser sword. How could you not like that?

      • ..but I’m so close to dying without ever having seen them! There are so few absolutes in this world, it’s one of my last (sad) chances to be totally consistent on something before I croak.

  3. OMG Andrew I never knew and all this time….you are such a softie…aww i cried and cried and cried untill ran out of tissue papers and then it was a big mess…
    this is the most heartwarming Father’s day post…..
    i have to write a comment here which i have reserved only for poets and it goes like this–
    “Its so deep man,it real deep”

  4. Darth Vadar always freaked the fluck out of me. Seriously. And then I became scuba certified and quickly realized that I am not scared of sharks, eels, or any creepy crawling things…

    But I constantly scuba in fear b/c the breathing in your own mask sounds like Darth Vadar and I feel like I’m being stalked by him for hours under water. For me, scuba diving is super scary because of Star Wars. It has ruined this otherwise relaxing sport.

    • Scuba diving makes me feel claustrophobic, and I’m also scared of sharks. That said, I still like going scuba diving. But I’m not scared of Darth Vader, he’s way too cool.

  5. Andrew, I agree totally with your father’s day post! We need to appreciate the struggles it takes for a father to raise a full, well rounded and spirited kid. D.V. should be applauded, or at least’ watched’ in the coolest movie the 70’s ever made! The point being that it was made in the ’70’s’! My kids think the 1970’s were a time when horse and buggy was the only available way to travel – ha! and how amazing that they made a movie with space ships that you couldn’t even see the wires that were holding it up!? lol…. Thanks again for the giggle! Have a great day!

  6. Pingback: Father’s Day: it’s not just for good guys | Anchors & Freedom

  7. Nope, kinda a deadbeat dad. Ignored his kids while he was off trying to take over the world. And then tried to make up for it when it was already way too late.

    Luke just loved his dad because he was soft.

  8. I truly believe that anything worthy of knowing in life, or not knowing, can be learned from one Mr. Darth Vader. Certainly creepy and evil, the dude did have a heart. Props on recognizing possibly James Earl Jones’ greatest role ever (with the exception of Terrence Mann in Field of Dreams of course). 🙂

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