The Hulk Dinner Party Disaster

Mr. Hulk,

Honestly, I’m not sure you can even read, so I don’t know why I’m writing this. Maybe you can wait until you change back to Bruce Banner to do so. And if that first sentence makes you mad, then fantastic, because I am a hot potato right now. I stuck up for you, and despite my girlfriend’s protests, I invited you to our dinner party. I thought that if given the right opportunity you could behave yourself. Instead you ate with your hands, smashed the entire table, and put two of our guests in a coma. Not to mention the flower vase centerpiece was a family heirloom.

Oh, and another thing. Just because someone politely tells you to wear a shirt to the table, does not give you the right to throw a temper tantrum. That is a perfectly reasonable request. It’s just common courtesy. You should try it sometime. And thanks for jumping through our roof by the way too. It’s always mature to run away from your problems. I had the privilege of cleaning up your mess all weekend, and now we have a sunroof that we never ordered. Don’t worry though, I’d rather buy a new roof than go on a cruise anyway.

Consider this letter, an official ending to our friendship. I appreciated you saving me from that alien invasion, but my patience (and wallet) can only go so far. Good day to you sir.

Your ex-friend,



27 thoughts on “The Hulk Dinner Party Disaster

  1. The joys of having superhero friends can quickly diminish. I had Thor over the other weekend and he kept throwing the glasses of wine at the wall. “Too cold” “Too warm” “Not sparkling enough” “Not enough tannins” He finally liked one and drank it all, and threw that glass too “ANOTHER!” Seriously, they could stand to learn some manners…

  2. I know what you are going through Andrew,you did the right thing,the cheek of that person,top of it he is naked once the green spell is gone,so he steals or asks for clothes and never returns them back ..
    way to go buddy,i support your decision,

  3. While reading this, all I could picture was Lou Ferrigno sitting at Doug and Carrie Heffernan’s dinner table. I hope you watch The King of Queens, otherwise you can ignore this comment.

  4. Writing a letter to such a social misfit is the epitome of class, Andrew. Though I doubt that the green one will absorb anything from your example, the rest of us have learned an important lesson in civility.

    P.S.: The thank you card is in the mail.

  5. thank you for finally putting the hulk in his place. Personally, his chiseled bare chest never bothered me but his RAGGITY SCRUFFY SHORTS always made me mad like a pregnant cow. Seriously, have some class. You look busted with those shorts. At least hem them. You look like you were just shipwrecked.

    No style.

    • Yeah I kind of got that vibe. Probably because we served a meat dish, and you were making a statement. Or carrots give you super human strength. I don’t know, I think I heard that somewhere.

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