Being the veteran traveler that I am, I’ve grown rather bored of the norm. I’m appalled by the the term “tourist”, and think of myself as more of an adventurer. The pyramids, Eiffel Tower, and the Great Wall do nothing for me anymore. I find my tastes are more suited for the spectacular. Although I doubt any of you could afford these trips, I thought I’d share some insight on my favorite vacation spots regardless. Without further adieu, here they are…
1. Narnia– This may be, hands down, the most beautiful place on my list. And I promise, you will not meet nicer talking animals. Everything has that “ancient magic” feel that I’ve grown to love. The first time we visited, we did the seven day cruise package on the Dawn Treader. And to be honest, they acted like we were on some kind of quest. Normally I don’t like being on any kind of set schedule, but our Captain, Caspian was great. Oh and their king, despite being a giant lion, could not be more gentle. Heh, unless you’re the White Witch…I’m sorry that’s Narnia humor for you. When you spend a lot of time in the country, you get a little caught up in the culture. It’s really easy to lose track of time when you’re there. A great getaway though!
2. Atlantis- All I ever hear is how beautiful the snorkeling in Hawaii and the Great Barrier Reef is. But I can’t help but laugh knowing what I’ve seen. Try being escorted to a ten course meal on a conch shell chariot pulled by dolphins. Or enjoy a world class massage by specially trained mermaids (or mermen). Also unlike the surface world, shark fights and submarine races are still legal here. And for those of you concerned about another “oxygen scare”, the technology has since improved. You can actually walk around almost completely uninhibited with the help of an algae breathing mask. My only note would be to stay away from the Sea Serpents. They’re not quite as “open-minded” as the Atlanteans, and still don’t take kindly to humans on the ocean floor.
3. Gotham City– I know what you’re thinking. Gotham is a dirty and disgusting armpit of a city. It’s riddled with crime and violence, so why would you ever want to go there? Those are all true statements, but like I said before, I have a thirst for adventure. I like to live life on the edge, and coming face to face with the Joker and Two-Face is definitely a way to do that. Not to mention the architecture is to die for. I love all the gargoyles. Everything is so gothic, dark, and tortured. It’s almost as if the city is a living, breathing organism. But sadly, Batman was a bit overrated if you ask me. Yes he’s highly competent at what he does, but he turned out to be such a bore. He doesn’t even drink. And like I’ve said before, I don’t trust a man who doesn’t drink. It means he’s either hiding something, or he’s a religious nut. I get the impression that Batman is a bit of both.
4. Neverland (not the Michael Jackson one)– Whenever me and the misses need a little rejuvenation, we come to Neverland. It’s just a great place to unplug, and forget about “being a grown up” for a while. It’s something about the atmosphere. When you come here, you feel like you’re not even aging. It’s like visiting the best spa or plastic surgeon you’ve ever been to, and then multiply it times 1,000. It’s got tropical beaches, magic flight classes, and pirate shows. What more could you ask for?
5. Endor– I don’t agree with everything that the Empire did, but man did they know how to pick a good forest moon. I used to spend many a summer camping here, until that whole “Death Star” debacle. Finally things have calmed down again, so if you can make it, it’s definitely worth the trip. The Ewoks can get a tad unruly at times, but just flash your blaster pistol, and they’ll settle down. Oh and as fun as it sounds, do not drink and drive a speeder bike. They look fast, and that’s because they are. Trust me, I know from experience. My brother-in-law is suspended in carbonite until they can fix his spine, due to a drinking and speeder accident.