I Love Being High

Apparently April 20th (or 4/20 as most tend to call it), is “international get high day.” Which is fantastic for me, because I finally get one day out of the year that I can talk about my passion with other enthusiasts. I should have been born a bird. Sometimes I even have dreams I’m flying. But until they perfect the birdman serum or learn to graft wings to people successfully, I’ll just have to use what options I have to achieve flight.

1. Kites– Who doesn’t like brightly colored tethered aircrafts? I mean they can look like dragons, sharks, or even quadrilaterals. Usually I like to make bologna sandwiches, then go to the park with my kite. It’s fun, and free! Plus when I look up at the kite, I pretend I’m riding on it. That way nobody can see me, and make fun of my eczema.

2. Planes– I like the big 747s. But I have more interest in biplanes. They just have a lot more character, and you really get to feel the wind in your face. Plus I had a big aerial dogfight phase when I was a teenager.

3. Mountainous Ranges-Everyone loves the Himalayas, or Mount Kilimanjaro. But my favorite moutain is the Matterhorn at Disneyland. It has a fun ride, and a silly snow monster. You never have to worry about frost bite, lack of oxygen, or resorting to cannibalism to survive there.

4. Jumping- I have a love/hate relationship with jumping. Because I love getting airborne, but I hate coming down again. I guess if you love something though, you can’t just love the good parts. It’s about finding a compromise, and growing together. And to me jumping is worth it.

5. Watching The Air Up There– The only thing I love more than being high, is probably Kevin Bacon. Plus he’s so good at jumping in this movie, that it’s almost like flying. I usually just fast forward to all those scenes. I don’t really care about basketball, because sports are stupid. And people that play them remind me of all the jerks in the lockeroom, that used to make fun of my eczema.


12 thoughts on “I Love Being High

    • Thank you sir. And now you have a Kevin Bacon movie to hold over everyone you know. Or just brag about, and force into conversations. Or maybe that’s just what I would do.

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