Wedding Proposal Ideas

Being a romantic, I like to surprise my girlfriend from time to time. Whether it’s picking flowers or hiding her purse, I like to keep it interesting. Since we’ve been together a while now, I think it’s time to pop the question. But it has to be done in an amazing way of course. Not just “we went to a fancy restaurant”, or “I popped the question on a scoreboard”. That’s lazy and done to death. So I’ve been brainstorming, and I came up with a few ideas.

1.  An explosion – This idea came from the Backdraft ride that used to be at Universal Studios. It was more of an attraction than a ride I guess. But you would walk through a burning building with fake oil barrels exploding. Yeah I know, pretty romantic right? My own plan, was something similar. I would walk us to the car for a nice evening out. Then say- “Hold on babe, I forgot something in the house”. Suddenly our house explodes. As she’s getting up from up the blast, I walk out of the flames. I get down on one knee, and pull out a ring. She’s so happy that I’m alive and proposing, that she won’t even be mad about me blowing up our house. Totally worth it. She’ll be bragging to her friends about it forever.

2.  Tomahawk throwing – Every Sunday we go tomahawk throwing. I know, no suprises there. But this time, after she goes to retrieve her ax from the target, I’ll throw mine. The blade narrowly missing her face, will lodge directly on the end of her handle. Not only will she be completely impressed by my marksmanship, but she’ll notice something shiny scotch taped to my handle. A beautiful engagement ring. I’ll be just like Daniel Day Lewis in The Last of the Mohicans.

3. Letters in the sky – I’m sure you’ve seen people write “cute messages” in air plane smoke, to a significant other. If you haven’t, don’t worry. It’s lame. Plus you can never see it very well, and it dissappears too quickly. If I do it, I’m going to rent a fucking spaceship. Imagine reading “Will you marry me?” from space shuttle smoke. It’s like writing with permanent marker instead of pencil. Plus it’s not like NASA’s doing anything with them lately anyway. I can probably get the whole thing done for dirt cheap. I bet you can even see the message from Mars.

4.  Archaeological dig – She’s big into archeology. I know what a nerd. Well anyway, I’ll go on one of her digs, and “help out”. When she’s off in another section, dusting or whatever, I’ll scream- “Hey what’s this? It looks like an ancient ceramic Greek serving vase!” She’ll come running over, along with the rest of the team. Now with an entire audience, I get down on one knee holding the vase. Then I smash it, revealing inside a magnificent wedding ring. Yes, I’ve just destroyed a priceless artifact. But I’ve also finally popped the question. So her and the rest of the team can’t be too mad. It’ll be such a joyous time, that we’ll stop digging in the desert. Then we’ll get hammered drunk, and I’ll be a hero.

5.  Blacksmithing – Next time I’m busy at the anvil, she’ll think I’m working on a new broadsword (which I’ll have strategically out for display). Then when she comes out to bring me my lunch of elk steaks and barley wine, I’ll ask her to search the blade for flaws. As she’s looking over the molten orange blade, I’ll pull out the newly crafted ring I’ve made ahead of time. She will weep with happiness, as we get to work making offspring for the coming winter cabbage harvest.


17 thoughts on “Wedding Proposal Ideas

  1. Brilliantly funny ideas but if that was me I would probably never speak to you again.

    My problem is when you said ‘Since we’ve been together a while now, I think it’s time to pop the question’. Now I don’t know if she reads this or not but to me that sounds like you are going to ask her to marry you for the sake of getting married, because that’s what you’re supposed to do, not because you love her and want to spend your life with her.

    If my other half wrote this I’d be pissed with him, and after reading that line I would say no

    • Ha true, you’re right. But don’t worry, this is just me ranting nonsense. When I ask her to marry me for real, it’ll be something more meaningful. Probably underwater in an old Soviet submarine, or atop a pterodactyl.

  2. If my wife sees this blog she’s going to be so pissed at me. I would never dream of such creative proposal settings. I like the exploding house – I mean nothing really says romance like bleeding ears and hearing loss. Your genius is under appreciated (I just read that from a fortune cookie).

    • The only thing that could probably beat coming out of an explosion, and faking your death, would probably be healing powers. That way, you could save her from machine gun fire, or machete chops. Then get right back up, and ask for her hand in marriage.

  3. I like the blacksmithing thing! Perhaps you can craft one of those Lord of the Rings kind of rings. Since the engagement to wedding phase of marriage is absolute torture, you can spend the time walking to an active volcano. Once you get there, you will of course have the ceremony at the summit. Whether you throw the ring into the volcano is your call. Depends upon your feelings for your betrothed after the long walk.

    Great post! Brilliantly wacky stuff!


  4. #2!!!! Just because it involves a Lewis’ reference. Also, throwing sharp objects is a very manly/burly thing to do and I wouldn’t question any man narrowly missing my head while popping the question.

    I also like the blacksmith idea. Sweaty, hot, and muscle-induced activity. She can gawk at your sooty face and amazing art.

    • I read somewhere that DD Lewis (he lets me call him that), got puenomia on the set of Mohicans. But wouldn’t go to the hospital or accept any medical attention, because they didn’t have it during the time period. I hope that fact is true, because that sounds so DD. He is awesome.

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