Things That Are Gnar

Some of you lame dads out there who aren’t chill, probably don’t understand what gnar means. But gnar is short for gnarly. So here’s a list of things that I think are definitely gnar-

1. Telling teachers to shut up– Teachers think they know everything. But they don’t.

2. Reading Thrasher Magazine– So many sick grinds.

3. Drinking Capri Suns– I can drink an entire one in like 20 secs.

4. Chicks– Right?

5. Listening to Mudvayne– Metal dudes who wear makeup and overalls. Nuff said.

6. Cary Grant films– Charade, Bringing Up Baby, I Was a Male War Bride…How do you get more solid than that? Plus he did LSD, and drugs are rad.

7. Scars– Chicks dig them, and dudes want to have them. Feel me?

8. Streets Of Rage 2–  Rollarblade kicks all day.

9. Mothra– Everybody likes Godzilla and King Kong, but they can’t even fly. Stupid dawg…

10. Theme song for Beverly Hills Cop– I can’t sleep for at least a half hour after hearing this. Gets me way to pumped.

11. Not crying– You will never hang with me if you cry. The only time I ever cried was when I lost in the X-Games qualifier, and my arm got chopped off by that BMX bike. But that was because I lost, not the pain.

12. Cadbury Eggs– The original, none of that caramel shit.

13. Eagles– They fly, have talons, and beaks that can rip through armored tanks. That’s why they’re the state bird of California.

14. Boogieboarding– It’s extreme, but I also like to lay down when I do things.

15. Early Kevin Costner films– No Way Out, and Bodyguard are sick. But don’t get me started on Dances With Wolves. Somebody told me there was a boob shot in there. I watched all four hours of that, and there’s not. That movie sucked.

16. Axe deodorant– Like I smell good, but it doesn’t give me an armpit rash. Shaka mahala brah.

17. Farting in class– I always just blame it on the ugliest kid next to me.

18. Pranks– I don’t know, I just like to trick people. Like I’ll hide all my brother’s stuff, then tell him that it got stolen. It’s pretty funny.

19. The dude from Jurassic Park that says “Clever girl…”– I don’t know, I just always kind of thought that guy was badass.

20. Staying up as late as I want– Sometime when my mom tells me to go to bed, I just pretend to be asleep.


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