For The Ladies

Hello Ladies. You do a lot for the world. To help take some of the pressure off, I came up with some great tips that will hopefully make life easier and more enjoyable. Here they are-

1. Oatmeal diet- My girlfriend constantly brings up this issue, that everything she likes to eat is bad for her. I struggle with this too, and that’s why I only eat oatmeal. It’s low in calories, plus it keeps you full for a long time. And if you don’t eat all of it, you can make a facial mask. Double way win.

2. Wine popsicles- No not all woman drink, but the ones I love do. Plus, wine freezes. I’ve done it before. On accident, but who cares. Anything frozen is more fun. Just think, you can only drink wine in certain designated areas. But wine popsicles you can eat anywhere. Even church!

3. Love notes- When was the last time you got a romantic note on your pillow or in your lunch? I know, you can’t even remember. I have the perfect solution. Write your own. Get out a piece of paper and list all the things special about you. Dot the I’s with hearts, and even end the note with Zozo (it’s like xoxox but sexier). But make sure to hide the note somewhere that you won’t find for a week or so. That way when you do find it, you’ll have forgotten you wrote it. What a nice surprise, and so romantic.

4. Take more baths- Showers are boring. Plus you can’t eat and shower at the same time. With baths you can do anything you want. Treat yourself, and take a nice long soak. Read a book, have a sandwich (when you’re on your cheat day from oatmeal of course), accompanied with a nice glass of champagne. Take the dirty out of cleaning, and instead add some fun.

5. Go to space- Tired of those boring sunsets? How many times can you walk along the beach? I know there’s water. It’s pretty. I get it. Try switching it up a bit, and doing something completely new. For example, like seeing the entire earth from a spaceship. It’s so beautiful, yet so small. Like the universe’s very own blueberry. Plus, when your friend starts bragging about the view of the Grand Canyon, you can tell them that’s nice, you’ve seen the entire earth.

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Theme: Esquire by Matthew Buchanan.

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