Apparently April 20th (or 4/20 as most tend to call it), is “international get high day.” Which is fantastic for me, because I finally get one day out of the year that I can talk about my passion with other enthusiasts. I should have been born a bird. Sometimes I even have dreams I’m flying. But until they perfect the birdman serum or learn to graft wings to people successfully, I’ll just have to use what options I have to achieve flight.

1. Kites- Who doesn’t like brightly colored tethered aircrafts? I mean they can look like dragons, sharks, or even quadrilaterals. Usually I like to make bologna sandwiches, then go to the park with my kite. It’s fun, and free! Plus when I look up at the kite, I pretend I’m riding on it. That way nobody can see me, and make fun of my eczema.

2. Planes- I like the big 747s. But I have more interest in biplanes. They just have a lot more character, and you really get to feel the wind in your face. Plus I had a big aerial dogfight phase when I was a teenager.

3. Mountainous Ranges-Everyone loves the Himalayas, or Mount Kilimanjaro. But my favorite moutain is the Matterhorn at Disneyland. It has a fun ride, and a silly snow monster. You never have to worry about frost bite, lack of oxygen, or resorting to cannibalism to survive there.

4. Jumping- I have a love/hate relationship with jumping. Because I love getting airborne, but I hate coming down again. I guess if you love something though, you can’t just love the good parts. It’s about finding a compromise, and growing together. And to me jumping is worth it.

5. Watching The Air Up There- The only thing I love more than being high, is probably Kevin Bacon. Plus he’s so good at jumping in this movie, that it’s almost like flying. I usually just fast forward to all those scenes. I don’t really care about basketball, because sports are stupid. And people that play them remind me of all the jerks in the lockeroom, that used to make fun of my eczema.