I strive on being productive, and multi-tasking (not really at all). So I thought it be would important to save time and get drunk while I made dinner. And I learned a few things. 1) It’s a Wednesday, so I’m over achieving. 2) My cooking doesn’t taste so bad now. And 3) After dinner writing is impossible.
How did/do so many amazing writers do this? Charles Bukowski, Jack London, Dorothy Parker, and a million other authors since the dawn of time have. In the first ten minutes of sitting down at my laptop under the influence, I have accomplished these things: eaten frozen whip cream, watched the Queen “I Want to Break Free” video, and more importantly, found old Gatorade to mix with my left over vodka.
Now I’m not even on the same playing field of those guys/gals obviously. I write about brunch and hating horses. But just the fact that they could put sentences together let alone create amazing novels, breaks my brain. Now, enough playing around. I’m going to try and write comic books about dinosaurs with mustaches. But congrats to the successful drunk authors out there and good night (or morning).
P.S.- WordPress recommended “writers resources” as one of the tags. That is definitely a lie. But I’m keeping it regardless.
I am, obviously, 100% supportive of this writing resource. But you’re right… I feel like its not about to turn me into Hemmingway any time soon….
Shoot.
No, if you drink enough it will. It’s science. I think…
Hey Shut Up Dad, Dinosaurs with moustaches – my ultimate fave genre.
Save me a signed edition.
Yeah, it’s definitely a burgeoning genre. Movies will definitely be following.
I’ve been known to be a drunk reader on occasion. In those instances, I’ll wonder why an author would write the same sentence over and over again, then I’ll fall asleep.
You were reading Infinite Jest under the influence again, weren’t you?
Guilty as charged sir.
I want to see your comics, Andrew. Sounds so awesome. I feel inspired and I’m going to try drunk writing–just not on a Friday or Saturday…and probably not during the day…
I was actually thinking about this recently and you just okayed it for me! Thanks. Consider this writer resourced.
Nothing wrong with a little midweek drinking. Just make sure all your ironing is done and lunch is made for tomorrow.
comic books about dinosaurs with mustaches. …oh man that sound so cool..i want to know more and hey do they fight with vampires ..
Well they killed all the vampires in the great dino/vampire war of 1817. But man was it fierce.
I think the best thing about drunk writing is that you lose that sort of filter where you crave perfection. You just write down whatever the hell comes to your mind and maybe fix it later. I think it also helps them deal with the negative crap they put their characters through too… haha So if you are still putting a filter on your writing, it just means you aren’t drunk enough.
Also, it really sucks to cook drunk and come up with an amazing recipe…
and not being able to remember it when you are sober.
Of course, it might only have tasted amazing because you were drunk…
but you can never really compare.
You’re right on all counts. My only problem is staying focused for two seconds, which is an issue sober too. As far as drunk cooking, I made an amazing grill cheese one time. The stars were aligned and it was perfection. I will never remember what weird tweak I did.
Very true….but sometimes you just get into a drunk trance zone and that’s when you do the writing. haha And I know… my friend made this absolutely amazing drunk stir fry… and none of us can remember what she did…
In that case, I ought to write drunk more often!
I would!
Well if you chain a hundred monkeys to a typewriter and they type forever, eventually the Great American Novel will be born. Ergo, drink enough and the literary golden nuggets will be brought forth.. ah, whiskey my old friend!
Whiskey is definitely in my top friends. That and bacon. Whiskey soaked bacon, and now we have a perfect relationship.
When I’m drunk, I make a lot more sense in my head than I do on paper.
Actually, that’s also true of me sober…
Surprised you didn’t learn that drinking and operation hot kitchen equipment is a bad idea.
…I love eating frozen Cool Whip
Frozen cool whip is new to me. And I’m sad about that.
Hemingway is one of my faves and he drank his face off which is why all of his characters are always drinking. I will copy you, too and do what Lauren did but my post will be Middle Aged Drinking Blogger.
I couldn’t agree more. I have attempted this on many occasions. This is because I don’t ever not drink. I think the reason the oldie but goodie guys were so genius at this combination is because they didn’t have YouTube, TV, Ipads, etc. to distract them. When I am drunk at home all I want to do is watch Netflix in between surfing Reddit. Good to know WordPress knows whats up though.
Even without distraction, my late father-in-law could NOT mix drunkenness with cooking – the barbeque ALWAYS lost… So, you’re still ahead of him… he’s dead now, of course… So, you’re WAY ahead of him!
Ha, drunk cooking should be a sport. No one wins. But at least it’s fun.
I think you should use “drunk writing” as a tag rather than “writing resources”. You’ve got lots of comments on this post, I’m gonna try that tag on my next.
Thanks for your absolving comment about the dead bird.